Jeżu to już - czyli początek drugiego roku na UCA

Pierwszy rok na uczelni minął mi baaaardzo szybko. Serio. Pomijam oczywiście pierwszy miesiąc, podczas którego chciałam wszystko rzucić i wyjechać w Bieszczady. Nie lubiłam tego miejsca, wszyscy wydawali mi się żałośni i pretensjonalni. Wszystko też zmieniło się bardzo szybko. Nadszedł październik i już na początku tego miesiąca nie potrafiłam wyobrazić sobie jak wyglądałoby moje życie, gdyby wybrała jakąkolwiek inną uczelnię. Poznałam tutaj cudownych ludzi, którzy są moją drugą rodziną, z dwójką z nich mam nawet takie same tatuaże, co wydaje się być głupim pomysłem, ale uwierzcie mi - zrobiłabym to jeszcze raz. Uwielbiam moich wykładowców, którzy są przepełnieni pasją do tego co robią i dają mi mega dużo energii do ciężkiej pracy i parcia do celów. To dzięki ich wsparciu osiągnęłam tak wiele podczas pierwszego roku nauki na UCA. Potrafię znaleźć co mnie inspiruje i wiem, że morze możliwości jest nieskończone. Jednym zdaniem - uczelnia pokazała mi, że z jasno obranym kierunkiem mogę osiągnąć wszystko!
Drugi rok zaczyna się powoli, jest bliżej niż mi się wydaje, bo już dziś miałam wprowadzenie do naszego planu działania na kierunku, ale wiem, że dalej trochę żyję wakacjami. Ostatnie kilka godzin spędziłam śpiewając piosenki w pokoju, więc ewidentnie - w głowie i duszy ciągle swoboda. Nie znaczy to jednak, że początek roku ograniczy mój wolny czas - on go jedynie wypełni i znów napędzi do działania. Zaczynam wybierać temat na moją pracę końcową, jak zwykle mam kilka pomysłów, ale pewnie połowa z nich zostanie odrzucona, jednak nie jest to dla mnie jakimkolwiek problemem. Z oceanu idei trzeba w końcu wybrać tą jedną idealną.
Jedyną rzeczą, która na dzień dzisiejszy trochę mnie przeraża jest to, że prawdopodobnie w marcu będę miała pierwszy egzamin po ponad roku życia bez czegoś takiego. Mam wrażenie, że mój mózg zapomniał już jak to jest uczyć się czegoś na pamięć, a nie ma innego wyjścia w momencie pisania testu z prawa w dziennikarstwie. No cóż, przynajmniej uciekłam od stresu przed sesją. Wiem za to jak to jest mieć blokadę pisarską przed napisaniem pracy na koniec semestru - mam wrażenie, że jest to porównywalne. Oczywiście, jedynie, jeśli przed sesją postanawiasz zawinąć się w kołdrę, jeść lody i płakać, płakać i płakać. Tak ja tak sobie radzę z blokadą pisarską i tak, wiem, że nie jest to najlepsze wyjście. Ups, no trudno.
Ostatnie załamanie nerwowe miałam kilka tygodni temu, kiedy przez trzy godzinie płakałam mamie mówiąc, że nie jestem pisarzem, jestem do dupy, wszystko jest do dupy i słowa już do mnie nie mówią. Teraz mówią i to za dużo, a ja nie mam czasu na spisanie wszystkiego do końca, bo przed dopisaniem ostatniego paragrafu jednej historii pojawia się nagle kolejny pomysł, który zaczynam zapisywać, aby nie uciekł, więc tracę wątek w pierwszym pomyśle, i tak w kółko. Ups, bywa i tak - jakby to powiedział Kurt Voonegut.
Kurwa, pada a ja muszę iść zaraz do pracy. Vivat Anglia.

Quick sneak of ss16

SS16 began so let see what this year will be like in fashion.

2015

    

      I have never thought that I would achieve so much in 2015. This year was... crazy. I lived, traveled, loved, learned, danced, laughed, cried, won, lost, made my dreams come true. When I was standing and looking at the beautiful fireworks saying goodbye to 2015 and welcoming the 2016 I guess that I was the saddest one in my whole city, mybe even in the country. That year was so good to me that I didn't want to let it go. Where everything started? On my coach. With a cup of coffee in my hand and remote controler in the other one.
In January I participated in polish national history conquest. I didn't get the main prize and as always I was crying after the speaking part. Those people there drive me crazy and I can do nothing about it, but I'm glad to have that opportunity to sit the exam again this year. For the last time.
 At 17 of January I left Poland for 79 days. I left my school, family, friends to start a journey that before I had only dreamed about. I flew to Bangkok. It were the craziest almost three months of my life. I met people that I am proud to call my second family. Friendships that I made there have lasted till now and I hope that will last much longer. I had an amazing time with my brazilian roommate, who showed me how big difference you can make when you truly believe in something, that everyone is able to make the dreams come true and that if you really want something you will find a way to finally get it. My roommate from Lithuania showed me that it is not a good idea to trust everyone. I met the most amazing red-head girl from Russia that I'm so glad to be able to call my best friend.
We are keeping in touch and I can tell her everything. Another girl from Russia showed me how difficult it is for people to believe in themselves. She taught me a little bit modesty and I made her believe that she is one of her kind, beautiful, smart and extraordinary. I ate a scorpio, swimmed around an small thai island, partied in mixx club, danced around khao san with my friends. I saw the tallest Buddha in whole Bangkok, somehow managed to cross the river on handmade boat, I was lying next to the lying  gold Buddha, ate pattayah, mango salad, the greatest pancakes in my whole life (bananas, nutella and egg - yumm!).
 I became a vegetarian, took a walk with my friends around the Nana street, got lost on the BTS station at night, gained weight - a lot, because of the Thai cuisine which is amazing!
And for the first days in Poland I coudn't handle the fact that I am not able to get on the roof top and eat sandwiches from 7/11 with my polish best friend (a guy that I met in Bangkok). I was living my life at the fullest as I could. I fell in love with the people and the city and you have no idea how sad I was to come back home.

      I flew back to Poland to finish my second year of high school. Four days before my 18 birthday. I didn't want to celebrate them, because I thought that it was not the place that I wanted to be right then. My friends from Thailand sent me a lot of videos from "my" birthday party. Without me.After few weeks I got over it. I was going to school, studying, reading, again living my ordinary life, writing - a lot. That was the time when I won the main prize in the national polish conquest for young writers with my "Sappling" piece. This is how I became the best of young polish essayist. I took part also in conquest in which you had to wirte a fairytale about Gdynia - my hometown. Which I also won. Writing about this right now seems so unreal to me. After all of studying and winning I left Poland again. For 92 days in June to begin my next journey. I flew to Vietnam where I spent 2 months in Hanoi and one month in Saigon.

   Swimming in a canoe around the Ha Long Bay, making new friends, dancing in the sky bar (at floor number 62!!!), spending millions (literally, but millions of dongs) at the night market, having fun at garden party in  the Eden club, playing beer pong near the West Lake, drinking a peach tea (with dry fruits inside), spending hours in the local zoo and eating a lot of street food - that is how my stay looked like. And again I made friendships that have lasted till now. I met my best friend that I have knew from Bangkok - a crazy french guy. I lived with 16 years old Ukrainian girl, who didn't really get it that I wouldn't be amazed if she would jump on my bed, drunk, with a bottle of wine in her hand, screaming and trying to open it.
But at least at day time she tried to be normal and I can honestly say that I liked this young crazy girl. I met a polish girl, with whom I was living afterwards, who became my bestfriend. At first I thought of her as a mean, blonde thing that I just had to tolerate and then we started talking. (If you are reading this - you know I love you even when you are mean asf).
I coudn't imagine a week without going out with our vietnamese friend for a glass of wine near West Lake, playing stupid cards games and singing songs that I can't even remember now. I got used to princesses (two guys, my frenchie crazy friend and the polish "i know everything" type of boy) who seemed to be worst than most of girls taking care of their perfect skin, tooth and being quite impressed (especially the polish one) that when someone says "I'm broke" it doesn't mean that he or she is injured - it just means that the person doen't have money. I'm wondering if they finally got it. I miss even the girls with who at my last week we didn't speak much and we quarreled - a lot. Right now I don't even know why, but I know who began all of this - native 1,5m guy - thanks a lot for being the reason of this mess.
I was dancing around the European part of the Saigon city, singing in the caraoke bars, reading books, buying things that I have already lost and drinking vietnamese coffee that I truly miss. And then I had to leave. Again. This time I wasn't crying that much. I was sad but I wanted to get back to my normal life. To school, books, my desk, dog, guinea pig, mom.

      In October I came back to school, started learning, taking part in conquest and doing my best to finish the last grade of high school with straight A. I wrote an educational piece for the history national contest, made it to next part which takes place at 9th of January 2016, I somehow made it to national part of the Media knowlege conquest and I still have no idea how I made it. I had time to write, read, live. I found myself and I finally am able to say that I know who I am and what I want to do in life. I live in a hurry, being a perfectinist isn't as good as one may think but I got used to it. In a run for perfection I am being myself, I am happy. Things that I have achieved showed me that I can do everything I want to. I am able to move montains and I can finally admit that I am the right person in the right place, I am happy and the most important I enjoy living my life.
      That's why I didn't want to let go 2015. I wanted to live my 2015 life full of travels, success, happiness. I'm scared of 2016 because everything ends in this year. In few months I'm going to finish high school, I will sit the matura exam, get my driving licence, I will change my life, start new chapter. I am excited for the new beggining but also sad that to start fresh something has to end.

2016 - be prepared - I'm comming to rock you.