I have never thought that I would achieve so much in 2015. This year was... crazy. I lived, traveled, loved, learned, danced, laughed, cried, won, lost, made my dreams come true. When I was standing and looking at the beautiful fireworks saying goodbye to 2015 and welcoming the 2016 I guess that I was the saddest one in my whole city, mybe even in the country. That year was so good to me that I didn't want to let it go. Where everything started? On my coach. With a cup of coffee in my hand and remote controler in the other one.
In January I participated in polish national history conquest. I didn't get the main prize and as always I was crying after the speaking part. Those people there drive me crazy and I can do nothing about it, but I'm glad to have that opportunity to sit the exam again this year. For the last time.
At 17 of January I left Poland for 79 days. I left my school, family, friends to start a journey that before I had only dreamed about. I flew to Bangkok. It were the craziest almost three months of my life. I met people that I am proud to call my second family. Friendships that I made there have lasted till now and I hope that will last much longer. I had an amazing time with my brazilian roommate, who showed me how big difference you can make when you truly believe in something, that everyone is able to make the dreams come true and that if you really want something you will find a way to finally get it. My roommate from Lithuania showed me that it is not a good idea to trust everyone. I met the most amazing red-head girl from Russia that I'm so glad to be able to call my best friend.
We are keeping in touch and I can tell her everything. Another girl from Russia showed me how difficult it is for people to believe in themselves. She taught me a little bit modesty and I made her believe that she is one of her kind, beautiful, smart and extraordinary. I ate a scorpio, swimmed around an small thai island, partied in mixx club, danced around khao san with my friends. I saw the tallest Buddha in whole Bangkok, somehow managed to cross the river on handmade boat, I was lying next to the lying gold Buddha, ate pattayah, mango salad, the greatest pancakes in my whole life (bananas, nutella and egg - yumm!).
I became a vegetarian, took a walk with my friends around the Nana street, got lost on the BTS station at night, gained weight - a lot, because of the Thai cuisine which is amazing!
And for the first days in Poland I coudn't handle the fact that I am not able to get on the roof top and eat sandwiches from 7/11 with my polish best friend (a guy that I met in Bangkok). I was living my life at the fullest as I could. I fell in love with the people and the city and you have no idea how sad I was to come back home.
I flew back to Poland to finish my second year of high school. Four days before my 18 birthday. I didn't want to celebrate them, because I thought that it was not the place that I wanted to be right then. My friends from Thailand sent me a lot of videos from "my" birthday party. Without me.After few weeks I got over it. I was going to school, studying, reading, again living my ordinary life, writing - a lot. That was the time when I won the main prize in the national polish conquest for young writers with my "Sappling" piece. This is how I became the best of young polish essayist. I took part also in conquest in which you had to wirte a fairytale about Gdynia - my hometown. Which I also won. Writing about this right now seems so unreal to me. After all of studying and winning I left Poland again. For 92 days in June to begin my next journey. I flew to Vietnam where I spent 2 months in Hanoi and one month in Saigon.
Swimming in a canoe around the Ha Long Bay, making new friends,
dancing in the sky bar (at floor number 62!!!), spending millions
(literally, but millions of dongs) at the night market, having fun at
garden party in the Eden club, playing beer pong near the West Lake,
drinking a peach tea (with dry fruits inside), spending hours in the
local zoo and eating a lot of street food - that is how my stay looked
like. And again I made friendships that have lasted till now. I met my
best friend that I have knew from Bangkok - a crazy french guy. I lived
with 16 years old Ukrainian girl, who didn't really get it that I
wouldn't be amazed if she would jump on my bed, drunk, with a bottle of
wine in her hand, screaming and trying to open it.
But at least at day
time she tried to be normal and I can honestly say that I liked this
young crazy girl. I met a polish girl, with whom I was living
afterwards, who became my bestfriend. At first I thought of her as a
mean, blonde thing that I just had to tolerate and then we started
talking. (If you are reading this - you know I love you even when you
are mean asf).
I coudn't imagine a week without going out with our
vietnamese friend for a glass of wine near West Lake, playing stupid
cards games and singing songs that I can't even remember now. I got used
to princesses (two guys, my frenchie crazy friend and the polish "i
know everything" type of boy) who seemed to be worst than most of girls
taking care of their perfect skin, tooth and being quite impressed
(especially the polish one) that when someone says "I'm broke" it
doesn't mean that he or she is injured - it just means that the person
doen't have money. I'm wondering if they finally got it. I miss even the
girls with who at my last week we didn't speak much and we quarreled - a
lot. Right now I don't even know why, but I know who began all of this -
native 1,5m guy - thanks a lot for being the reason of this mess.
I was
dancing around the European part of the Saigon city, singing in the
caraoke bars, reading books, buying things that I have already lost and
drinking vietnamese coffee that I truly miss. And then I had to leave.
Again. This time I wasn't crying that much. I was sad but I wanted to
get back to my normal life. To school, books, my desk, dog, guinea pig,
mom.
In October I came back to school, started learning, taking part in conquest and doing my best to finish the last grade of high school with straight A. I wrote an educational piece for the history national contest, made it to next part which takes place at 9th of January 2016, I somehow made it to national part of the Media knowlege conquest and I still have no idea how I made it. I had time to write, read, live. I found myself and I finally am able to say that I know who I am and what I want to do in life. I live in a hurry, being a perfectinist isn't as good as one may think but I got used to it. In a run for perfection I am being myself, I am happy. Things that I have achieved showed me that I can do everything I want to. I am able to move montains and I can finally admit that I am the right person in the right place, I am happy and the most important I enjoy living my life.
That's why I didn't want to let go 2015. I wanted to live my 2015 life full of travels, success, happiness. I'm scared of 2016 because everything ends in this year. In few months I'm going to finish high school, I will sit the matura exam, get my driving licence, I will change my life, start new chapter. I am excited for the new beggining but also sad that to start fresh something has to end.
2016 - be prepared - I'm comming to rock you.
It is well known that more people will start to admire you after this simple sentence "I am a model". They start to see you in a brighter light, you seem to be taller, prettier, skinnier. On the other hand there will be more than hundreads of people looking at you thinking that you became dumb, starving yourself, not thinking about anything else despite being skinny. If you are travelling all around Asia they will judge you or be jealous of the places that you had a chance to live in. When you will work in Europe they will think of you as if you were a celebrity, the dumb one that will shave the eyebrows one day. Going to the USA will be the ground-breaking point, after this you start to be the top model, probably doing drugs, a heavy drinker, and someone who will never talk to you because apart from being aloof you will also hear that you started to be self-important. Also you will have more and more friends admiring what you do, craving your life not really knowing it. People who will stay by your side after your 3 months of absence in the city, not judging you, not thinking that you changed, just keeping it casual, they are the one to keep in touch with, they are your real friends and try not to loose them. Which will be hard because of all the time you spend abroad. It is tiring having to make a special selection of friends and trying to know if they like you for who you are or they like the image of you, which is not fake. You are like an actress, not being fake, but it is not you. Pretending, playing, that is what models do. It is not true what people think of us, how the see us. I am a model for over 3 years right now and I can honestly say that I changed, that is the one point where people are right about, but not in the way they think I did.
I have never met in my life more positive, open minded, wise, helpful, friendly and honest people. Every single contract is an amazing journey on which I meet people that later I am happy to call my second family. I love them, care about them. They know about me more than I know about myself. We cry, laugh, eat, sleep, drink, live and sometimes even breath together. Every single one of them is special, different. And not to make it a sad story about how much I miss each of you guys out there let me say one thing. Models do not live at 5 star apartments, we do not eat lobsters every day, we do not have any slaves there who do everything for us, we are not super stars. We are ordinary humans earning for a living (not enough tho) shooting 12 hours per day, walking on catwalks and wearing fancy stuff. This is what we do.
