There's this guy, let's call him Garry, so Garry comes to the sushi place at least once a month with his family for a dinner or supper or lunch or whatever. He's a lovely guy, a little bit older than me, studied economics in London and graduated three years ago with flying colours. Every time when he comes in I already know what he is going to order, as he never tries anything new but sticks with his basic choice. That's not weird at all since more than a half of the customers do that. With every meal, he always drinks at least 3 jars of sake, and all that you need to know about sake is that it's fucking strong so it gets you drunk very quickly and super easy. You don't even feel it and then - you're shitfaced. Garry gets drunk every single time when he comes with his family for dinner. I've never seen him sober for more than a few minutes. There's nothing wrong with that, I honestly don't care about his life choices and the fact that he's getting hammered during the family meal. But after he gets drunk he starts hitting up on me, which is super awkward and funny at the same time, but usually, I neither have the power nor am I in the mood to deal with that. Last time it went pretty much as always. Started off with commenting on how good I look in the kimono, proceeding to complement my makeup and tell me that my smile is the most beautiful thing in the world. Then after I went to warm up another jar of sake for him he decided to come up to the counter and just watch me do it. Okay, cool, I don't have to bring it up to him, but I didn't really feel like talking to him at this very moment since it was busy and I had a lot of stuff to do at the same time. So I just let him talk. He spent a few good minutes talking about irrelevant to me stuff and then decided to say the funniest pickup line I've ever heard. And trust me, I've heard a good amount of them to judge now if it's any good. "Hey, you're a single Pringle, I'm a single Pringle, we can be two Pringles in a can." Yeah, he called me a Pringle. It started off okay, but the can part got me. It sounds as if he wants me to end up in jail with him. Can=jail, that's pretty obvious to me. I tried to be polite so I just said thank you, but I don't think it's a good idea, that's your sake and then went on to do what they pay me to do. In the end I'm still working and I don't have time for anything else while I'm there. I wonder what I'll hear next. Will I be a chocolate bar or maybe a broccoli?
wtorek, 17 października 2017
Dear waitress, please kill someone with me #1
As you all may already know apart from being a full-time art student I also work as a waitress at the local sushi place. I love my job, it's way better than working at that last crappy place with a dickhead boss. I treat it more like hanging out with my friends rather than a job, which says a lot about the atmosphere at my work. But it's not what this series will be about. Being a waitress means dealing with a lot of weird customers and I'll be describing funny stuff that happens to me during work. Since some of the events are super odd the title of the series is weird as well. I'm pretty sure one day a customer will ask me to kill someone with him though.
There's this guy, let's call him Garry, so Garry comes to the sushi place at least once a month with his family for a dinner or supper or lunch or whatever. He's a lovely guy, a little bit older than me, studied economics in London and graduated three years ago with flying colours. Every time when he comes in I already know what he is going to order, as he never tries anything new but sticks with his basic choice. That's not weird at all since more than a half of the customers do that. With every meal, he always drinks at least 3 jars of sake, and all that you need to know about sake is that it's fucking strong so it gets you drunk very quickly and super easy. You don't even feel it and then - you're shitfaced. Garry gets drunk every single time when he comes with his family for dinner. I've never seen him sober for more than a few minutes. There's nothing wrong with that, I honestly don't care about his life choices and the fact that he's getting hammered during the family meal. But after he gets drunk he starts hitting up on me, which is super awkward and funny at the same time, but usually, I neither have the power nor am I in the mood to deal with that. Last time it went pretty much as always. Started off with commenting on how good I look in the kimono, proceeding to complement my makeup and tell me that my smile is the most beautiful thing in the world. Then after I went to warm up another jar of sake for him he decided to come up to the counter and just watch me do it. Okay, cool, I don't have to bring it up to him, but I didn't really feel like talking to him at this very moment since it was busy and I had a lot of stuff to do at the same time. So I just let him talk. He spent a few good minutes talking about irrelevant to me stuff and then decided to say the funniest pickup line I've ever heard. And trust me, I've heard a good amount of them to judge now if it's any good. "Hey, you're a single Pringle, I'm a single Pringle, we can be two Pringles in a can." Yeah, he called me a Pringle. It started off okay, but the can part got me. It sounds as if he wants me to end up in jail with him. Can=jail, that's pretty obvious to me. I tried to be polite so I just said thank you, but I don't think it's a good idea, that's your sake and then went on to do what they pay me to do. In the end I'm still working and I don't have time for anything else while I'm there. I wonder what I'll hear next. Will I be a chocolate bar or maybe a broccoli?
There's this guy, let's call him Garry, so Garry comes to the sushi place at least once a month with his family for a dinner or supper or lunch or whatever. He's a lovely guy, a little bit older than me, studied economics in London and graduated three years ago with flying colours. Every time when he comes in I already know what he is going to order, as he never tries anything new but sticks with his basic choice. That's not weird at all since more than a half of the customers do that. With every meal, he always drinks at least 3 jars of sake, and all that you need to know about sake is that it's fucking strong so it gets you drunk very quickly and super easy. You don't even feel it and then - you're shitfaced. Garry gets drunk every single time when he comes with his family for dinner. I've never seen him sober for more than a few minutes. There's nothing wrong with that, I honestly don't care about his life choices and the fact that he's getting hammered during the family meal. But after he gets drunk he starts hitting up on me, which is super awkward and funny at the same time, but usually, I neither have the power nor am I in the mood to deal with that. Last time it went pretty much as always. Started off with commenting on how good I look in the kimono, proceeding to complement my makeup and tell me that my smile is the most beautiful thing in the world. Then after I went to warm up another jar of sake for him he decided to come up to the counter and just watch me do it. Okay, cool, I don't have to bring it up to him, but I didn't really feel like talking to him at this very moment since it was busy and I had a lot of stuff to do at the same time. So I just let him talk. He spent a few good minutes talking about irrelevant to me stuff and then decided to say the funniest pickup line I've ever heard. And trust me, I've heard a good amount of them to judge now if it's any good. "Hey, you're a single Pringle, I'm a single Pringle, we can be two Pringles in a can." Yeah, he called me a Pringle. It started off okay, but the can part got me. It sounds as if he wants me to end up in jail with him. Can=jail, that's pretty obvious to me. I tried to be polite so I just said thank you, but I don't think it's a good idea, that's your sake and then went on to do what they pay me to do. In the end I'm still working and I don't have time for anything else while I'm there. I wonder what I'll hear next. Will I be a chocolate bar or maybe a broccoli?
czwartek, 5 października 2017
Letter to The Friend - one of the pieces from my last year's portfolio
Normally students take exams, art students submit portfolios each term for each module and that is one of the poems that I've submitted as a part of my portfolio last year for Poetry and Poetics. Enjoooooy
Letter to the Friend
I still can taste that vanilla
whiskey we used to drink back in our hometown.
It is just stuck in my mind.
Somehow I’m able to recall it all except
how you draw that small sketch
you later gave to the girl you used to like.
Objects in my flat keep reminding me of your
unique, quite beautiful smile.
With you, by my side, everything was better in the end.
Empty room of yours may slowly turn me into a psycho.
Realizing that you are
elsewhere, laughing at someone else’s jokes.
Have you forgotten? You and me, together through thick and thin.
Enjoy everything in life that you can get
rather than trying to highjack
everything you’ve got. Please, abandon
bad thoughts and memories too.
Unlucky I am not having seen new,
truly great things that happened to you. You still are my peach,
yet I feel as if I’m stuck in a limbo.
Okay, enough about me, I wanted to know,
Us, you and me, if you maybe will
add an hour to your schedule to meet me? I know you
rearranged your life, which was kind of drastic.
Every day I just think
that I’d love to spend some time with my friend, who is all the time busy.
How fast everything changed, we got destroyed by the Tsunami.
Expiry date is on every object.
Rich memories are not enough when I’m sitting on my own with a glass of Martini.
Everything is alright with you I hope. I just miss
You
my dear
friend.
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